| C r e a t i v e P e r s p e c t i v e s endeavors to reach out to teenagers, specially Afghan teenagers, who are suffering from cultural shocks, language barriers, and the variety of societal and peer pressure put on them. My main objective is to encourage them to focus on the positives of this society has to offer them, and to learn to work on a healthy balance between their roots and the "American culture". My dream is to one day educate other agencies, then other cities, then states and maybe other countries on the issues of being torn between two cultures, in the hope to increase cultural sensitivity and awareness. My articles will continue to focus on the issues currently causing disturbance among teenagers and their families. And I would like the readers to provide me with feedback of what they would like to see published in future articles. |
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First Generation Immigrants
As we are all aware American society is becoming more and more
diverse.
We have immigrants and refugees from all over the world coming
in to the country. This raises numerous issues for the these families.
They are suddenly faced with financial burdens, language barriers,
educational and societal concerns, and other assimilation concerns. These put a
tremendous
amount of stress and difficulty on families. It also causes many
challenges to the educators, mental health therapists and other
assisting
professionals. Let me invite you to a world where many children,
teenagers, and parents face these diffculties daily.
It is important to keep in mind that the majority of this population
are first generation.
It
is often more difficult for the older generation to make the transition
from
his/her own native culture, then to say someone in ages 2 or 3. The
adolescents appear to find it extremely difficult to make this
transition.
They have just passed their earlier years of life and are in the middle
of
their own "identity crisis". They are trying to learn about who they
are. Migrating to another country, whatever
the
reason for the move, causes further confusion, stress and uncertainty
about
their sense of self.
In addition to dealing with their own personal
trauma,
they are faced with some conflicting expectations of their parents and
that
of
the society.
As you have already read in my earlier articles, I too was faced with
the
above mentioned issues. I went to a school in New York City at age
fourteen.
I knew little if any English. I was very aware of the reactions and
insensitivity towards my being "different". By that I don't just mean
looking
different, as in hair or eye color, but in my attitude, view of others,
view
of family, life expectations, and as my teacher once put it ...the way I
"carried myself". I learned to grow up faster intended. I became
very
sensitive to the racial gestures, jokes and insensitivity of some of the
kids.
I started isolating myself. I found it hard to speak up and be
assertive
and
"leader" as I was back home. I started resenting my parents for coming
to
the
US. I also continued to shy away from some good opportunities in sports
and
other school activities. I now regret that. I am writing about my own
life
to give the reader a sense of how difficult it is to "blend in" as a new
comer
in this Nation. It impacts the individuals self esteem, self worth, and
most
definitely can influence their future in a negative way. If they
continue
to
be defeated by their peers, their own negative thought processes can
be self injurious. However, it does not have to be that way.
I like to keep the focus of this article primarily on the first
generation
teenagers. In the future I will keep in mind to also focus on the older
and
younger generations as well. I recall the people
who
made the difference for me in my vision of life. First it was my family.
Their continuous efforts to
provide us with positive and productive feedback give both my brother
and
I a belief that we can succeed in this world. That we were going to let
nothing
come in the way. Also there was the family values which often
stablised us with the importance of being yourself and living up to your
best potential.
It is not only the family, or a friend who can make that difference. It
is
also that person from school, that mentor, that shopkeeper, or that
uncle
or
whoever is important to the teen. Everyone around us impact us in
one
or
another way. Hopefully in a positive way. The key is to seek
only the positives in others. I guess what I am saying is that we all
can
impact someone's life.
Most of the teen population who have arrived in the States face a
variety
of
issues related to acculturation. The way that they deal with it differs
from
person to person. However, it goes without saying that they all, just
like
any other teenager, can use someone to believe in their talents,
belief system, and culture. Only and only to enhance their self
worth.
Thus, follows success and pride.
I started doing a little better in terms of social skills in the second
and
third year of high school. I was not as shy or isolated. I do remember
the
people that had the greatest impact in my life. The people that cared to
listen to my stories of "back home", laugh at my jokes, and just
appreciate
my
"difference". A few were friends, but most of them were teachers or
school
officials. These teachers told me not to lose faith and hope. They
taught
me
to keep trying and fighting. Mr. Cluadato volunteered to take my
brother
and
I on field trips to teach us more about New York and the "American
Society".
He expressed his gratitude by sharing off work hours to assist us with
book
or
other school assignments for he knew that my parents could not. Mrs.
Kress,
my
computer teacher knew that I did not like computers and offered to
provide
extra support. She treated me as a respectable human being . She
listened
to
my pain in my loss of my home and often lent words of encouragement
and
support. This summer it has been ten years since my high school
graduation
and
I yet continue to keep in touch with them. I cherished their caring
moments,
words, and support. I will always remember those moments.
Although recently there appears to be more and more sensitivity towards
cultural
diversity , it is a far cry from a society free of prejudice.
There are often racial comments made by others.
Immigrant kids are often faced with these obstacles. Their is noquick
solution or formula . As difficult as it is for the immigrants to
make a life and community for themselves here, it is equally difficult
for society to be welcoming of new faces and nationalities. It is a two
way street filled with
feelings of uncertainty, curiosity, and lack of knowledge about the
"Other".
Now what happens when we are unfamiliar with someone or something, or we
don't
understand why they do what they do. It drives us crazy. We start
feeling
anxious, worried, nervous, insecure, and we finally give up trying. We
don't
give ourselves enough time to learn, it is a process. Now imagine this
discomfort going back in forth unless someone breaks the pattern and
says---no
matter how difficult I am willing to learn about you and your
background/culture. Now just keep in mind that the feelings I mentioned
above
are not as distressing to the majority population because they can walk
away
and not learn about this given culture. They don't have to. But for
the
immigrant population the stress in multiple because they have no
choice but to learn the language, learn the rules, and the alien
culture.
If you are a immigrant teenager who can identify with the above issues
and
choose to get support, please don't hesitate to contact me. If you are
an
immigrant caregiver, friend, teacher or another significant person in
their
lives, please take time to sit, listen, and show that you care ---and
that
they are worth it.
Remember that the future of this country depends on the them more than
we
think.
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Other articles by Sonia Rahel:
Being Different (Part II) (April-June 1998) Being Different (Part I) (Jan.-March 1998) Searching for Inner Strength (Oct-Dec. 1997) send comments to Sonia Rahel at rahelsonia@hotmail.com
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