Ethnicity: The Foundation Of Identity By Dr. Amin Azimi January - March 1998 Lemar-Aftaab As an Afghan growing up in Kabul, I had no concept of the meaning of ethnic and ethnicity. What I remember is that people had different features, spoke in different languages and had different beliefs, values, customs and rituals. I recall when people from different parts of the country moved to Kabul and lived there for long time they still preserved their ethnic backgrounds. I regarded the society as melting pot and was blind to its rich inherent diversity. I remember there were young men and women who were striving to leave their customs and values and were imitating others. On the other hand, there were others who were proud of their ethnic backgrounds. Those individuals who were ignoring their ethnicity were looked down on by their families and others. Their wish to ignore or deny their culture and adopt a different norm was an idealistic and fallacious goal. Unfortunately, today many young Afghans living in the U.S. wish to ignore their ethnic background. They are ashamed of their cultural heritage and are eager to act and behave like an American. In other words they are adopting a sense of false identity. These young people are unaware of their rich cultural heritage. Most of them cannot read, write or adequately speak their native language. They forget or have never been reinforced by their parents or significant others that their ethnic background remains a vital force, a major form of group identification, and a major determinant of their family patterns and belief systems. Should we blame these youngsters? Of course not. As parents we need to look at our own behaviors and actions. Some of us don't set a good example for these youngsters. We haven't let go of our own prejudices, have never become independent, have lost our self-esteem and sense of security, and there has been a loss in the balance of power in the family structure. There are those of us who have hardly spoken positively about our culture of origin and have become fascinated with our new lifestyle and the acquiring of new wealth, and are not reinforcing the basic values inherited from the culture of origin. Parents are the model for the foundation of children's identity. However, today we can find thousands of Afghan families who are raising respectful children. These children are receiving an exemplary education, have mastery over English and their native language, and are well informed of their customs, values, rituals, and beliefs. In fact they are well balanced individuals. We need to understand that ethnicity describes a sense of commonality transmitted over generations by our families and reinforced by our surrounding communities. Ethnicity is more than race, religion, or national and geographic origin. It involves conscious and unconscious processes that fulfill a deep psychological need for identity and historica l continuity. Ethnicity patterns our thinking, feeling, and behavior in both obvious and subtle ways. It plays a major role in determining what we eat, how we work, how we relax, and how we feel about life in general. It is obvious that our cultural values are generally outside of our awareness. Ethnicity is a powerful influence in determine identity. We may ignore our ethnic background or cut it off by changing our names, rejecting our families and socia l backgrounds, but we do that to the detriment of our well being. There is increasing evidence that ethnic values and identification are retained for many generations after immigration and play a significant role in family life and personal development throughout the life cycle. As a psychologist I often help individuals from other cultures, who are suffering, among other problems, from depression, alcoholism, and marital discord. The fact is that the roots of many of these problems are isolation from the culture of origin and adopting a false sense of self-identity. The price of cutting off a significant cultural legacy is internalized shame and diminished self-esteem. This is even more pronounced for those who come from cultures already in a one-down economic position like refugees. Their ambivalence about themselves comes not simply from trying to fit in, but from rampant negative stereotypes about their culture which become the seed of alienation. The fundamental success comes when people try to establish themselves in the new culture, and with the same perspective hold on to their identity without feeling ashamed of their culture of origin. Unfortunately when youngsters become ashamed of their culture, they become rebellious, and turn against family values in order to fit into the mainstream. Reconnecting with our cultural heritage is a powerful healing tool when it joins us to our ethnic resources--a powerful binding that cements ties between parent and child, between spouses, between individuals and their communities. Culture gives us our fundamental sense of belonging, of fitting into the larger picture. Our culture identifies and defines our core identity. As a parent, or a friend we need to encourage and teach our children to rediscover their roots, look back to their ethnic background, and relive the rich experience of being an Afghan. Dr. Amin Azimi is a licensed psychologist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Nashville, Tennessee. For suggestion and comments, please E-Mail at: Kabul@bellsouth.net Related Link: The Poetry of Dr. Amin Azimi (July-Sept. 97) Copyright © 1998 Aftaabzad Publications. All Rights Reserved. May not be duplicated or distributed in any form without permission.