Being Different By Sonia Rahel January - March 1998 Lemar-Aftaab I remember growing up and my entire family preaching to me about treating everyone equally and not being prejudice. In fact, my paternal grandfather told me that under the eyes of God everyone was created and perceived equal. The older I got the more I wondered about the values that were installed in me. I asked myself questions which I have not been able to answer. Is this really how the world is? Is this really how my family, or my neighbor's family, or my freind's family perceived the world to be? Or is it all "lip service"? I invite the reader to look at this matter carefully and ask themselves the very same question. Yes, this article is on issues that surround us daily: prejudice, stereotypes, judgments, generalizations and assumptions reagrding a particular race, ethinicity, religion, hair or eye color, gender and so on. Some of you have perhaps read my last aricle: Searching For Inner Strength , and know that I was born in Afghanistan and came to USA at age 14. I am now 26 years old, but my depth of experiences in exchanging prejudices have made me aware of my own feelings. You all are probably wondering why I have admitted to having been prejudice, but the truth of the matter is that we all have in one point or another. It is only when we gain knowledge regarding our own thought processes and feelings towards others, that we can make a change. Some of you may or may not agree with me, but think about it-- from the time that you start your day to when you go to bed at night, think of your own encounters wih people of different colors, shapes, sizes, genders, or ethincity. What do you say to yourself when you see an overweight person versus a slim person, or a black person versus an Asian person, or someone with attractive clothes versus unkempt and dirty clothes. We give ourselves messages that gives us the right to assume about someone's current or past lives. Here is when we have already shown our prejudice. It may or may not be settled, but it has happened. Now I invite the reader to turn the coin around. Do you remember when someone made an assumption about you and expressed prejudice towards you in some way or another. Remember your first day of class when you first arrived in the USA, your first day at a new job, your first time speaking English. Whatever that experience might have been, think about how it felt to you? I would not doubt it making you feel "little", inferior, and less of a person depending on the severity of the matter. I have had several experiences in this area, but my favorite one is the one that has nothing to do with racism, but appearance. I often compare the sales people's treatment of me when I go to a nice boutique with a nice suit, shoes, and make up, versus when I am in jeans, T-shirt and no make up. Automatically I see a drastic change in their teatment of me. They are perhaps deciding on my class or financial standards. I take it that they have already made an assumption that in turn changed their behavior towards me. I think that we are all filled with stories as mentioned above. It is almost like prejudice is second nature to us. It is constant, automatic, and it feels natural. We most often are not aware of being prejudice. It is nice to live in a country where there is some level of understanding in this area, although racism still continues to be a fact of life, there is the law and at times justice. I leave my readers with the note to become aware of your own prejudices, generalization, and assumptions regarding a particular age, sex , race, ethnic, or religion group. Let the other person educate you about themselves. It starts with ourselves. The last thing that I would like to pass on is to "live and let live". Until next time. Copyright © 1998 Aftaabzad Publications. All Rights Reserved. May not be duplicated or distributed in any form without permission.