An Afghan Wedding
"From an American perspective"

By Lydia Wiggins-Azimi


"an Afghan bride and groom"

An Afghan wedding is involved and takes a great deal of organization. No doubt about it. But everyone is aware from the beginning that it will be a big affair and very elaborate. This is unlike traditional American weddings where the couple starts out saying. "We're just having a small wedding with a few friends; it's not gg to be a big affair,” and then the whole shebang gets out of hand and the bride and groom just want to run off and elope. The engagement period tends to be fairly lengthy. When the couple announce their engagement, there is a huge party. And for at least a whole year after, they are treated like royalty by everyone who is aware of their status. I like all the hoopla that comes with the transitional Afghan wedding - the parties, the dressing up, the rituals, the music, and of course the food. The bride and groom are usually so busy being congratulated after they have been pronounced "married" at they don't get much opportunity to eat! The bride and groom are the centerpiece and remain so throughout the celebration. They are congratulated by every individual at the wedding and they, in turn must pose for many photographs. An Afghan wedding is an all night celebration. It usually starts around 7:00 to 8:00 PM, and runs to well into the morning hours. I have never been to a daytime Afghan wedding, so I must assume they are all held at night. This time gives a wonderful romantic atmosphere for the occasion. When the bride enters the room, she is usually followed by an entourage of ladies who are dressed just as regally, and perhaps a number of small children- sometimes boys and girls - also attend the bride. It is a glorious affair; just like a queen entering the room to acknowledge her subjects. And she is a queen for the night. All those in attendance at the wedding stand to acknowledge her presence, and all eyes are focused on her. She ascends to a throne-like setting where her new husband awaits her. The Koran is passed over their heads and henna for good luck is put in their palms. The children like to have the henna in their palms, too, because it makes them a part of the celebation, and it is said to bring good luck and happiness. After they are congratulated, the bride and groom may get up and lead a dance to the traditional Afghan music played on the tabla and hamounia. After this, things start getting really festive. People are eating and dancing and laughing, and eating and dancing and laughing some more. Around midnight the children being to get a little whinny and sleepy, and the grownups, too, although if they are asked if they are sleepy, neither will admit to it. In the wee hours of the morning, all the wedding party is a little dazed by all the activity, their full stomach and lack of sleep. Everyone may go to wherever they are staying and rest for a few hours. However, the next day brings a new round of celebrations when the bride and groom open their presents in front of all. Music is playing and there is plenty of food and laughter to get the couple launched in their new life. Lyida Wiggins-Azimi, an American, is a freelance writer.

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