The focus of this article is on the Afghans that have fled the country in the last two decades and live in exile. Like many other Afghans, I too had left with my family in the early 1980s. I often wondered what happened to this friend, that neighbor or thought of an extended relative that I had not seen for a while. A few years would pass, and I would hear from them or about them.
I also spent a great deal of time focusing on the media and hoping for a glance of Afghanistan, the country that I love so much, the country that I would always keep close to heart, and the beautiful memories that I force to maintain in my memory bank. For these memories are the only thing remaining from the country I once called home. I would guess that many Afghans like myself have suffered as a result of the challenges they faced through this exile.
Now, after the September 11th crisis, it appears that we are once again reminded of the pain, the suffering, the guilt related to helplessness and/or hopelessness. On the one hand watching the families in the United States suffer, and on the other hand having our homeland Afghanistan become the bull's eye for world destruction and terrorism.
As a result of the most recent crisis, the Afghan population too has been going through more mental and emotional suffering. There are feelings of guilt related to watching the Americans suffer as a result of this inhumane destruction at the Twin Towers. On the other hand, there is guilt related to watching the living situation of the Afghan population in the refugee camps in Pakistan.
Then there are those who have a family member or friends who still live in Afghanistan, and continue to become emotional about another potential loss. To top it off, there is an incredible feeling of confusion, hurt, and anger for watching their once beautiful, hospitable, caring and memorable country become the focus of the world for the center of terrorism.
In my profession as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have years of experience working with families and children on posttraumatic stress issues related to severe life trauma, ranging from child abuse to having witnessed life-threatening circumstances. Posttraumatic stress disorder includes hypervigilence, fears, anxiety, nightmares, and/or flash backs related to trauma.
In the last few weeks, I have yet to meet an Afghan, friend or family that has not had their posttraumatic stress issues triggered. In the generation of our parents and grandparents, these feelings have been much exacerbated. I cried straight for the first two weeks following the Twin Tower's incident on September 11th. I have heard from others who have had nightmares, depression, increasing conflicts in their relationships, hypervigilence, confusion, anxiety, fear, and those who have completely trapped themselves at home for safety or out of shame.
The depression has been greatly impacted and increased due to the media's over coverage and over exposure, and reruns, of the Twin Towers and also the lives that people in Afghanistan are living. The burning of the Towers to many Afghans is similar to what they have witnessed in their hometown, which became one of many reasons for their departure. The Afghans, once again, hopelessly watched and were reminded of their war related destruction and horrifying scenes.
I too sit in front of the television and think about how I can help individuals in need. I feel split between wanting to go to New York, where I grew up, and help civilians and their families that have lost loved ones, or going to Pakistan and rescue the starving Afghan women and children, or both.
Different people are dealing with this situation differently. I just want to pass a message to all Afghans of all generations, please do not be ashamed to be an Afghan. What we have witnessed in the last few weeks, or the fact that our homeland became the terrorist operation land has nothing to do with who we truly are. We are proud, courteous, hospitable, gentle, and caring individuals that have fled our homeland for the very reason to prevent oppression, suffering, and death. Do not be ashamed to continue to say that you are an Afghan. There are a very few minority in this society that are ignorant and reluctant to hear of or want to learn about Afghans, for they already have preexisting prejudices. The majority of the population feel compassion for the living situation of the Afghans in Afghanistan and the Pakistan refugee camps and feel compelled to help.
In conclusion, we all need to heal. Please spend a lot of time hugging your family and children and tell them that you love them. Pray for this nation and the innocent Afghan lives in Afghanistan and refugee camps.
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