Often the perspective employees and their families are so euphoric about getting the assignment that they forget the fact that life in the host country will probably be very different, and that they may experience hardship. Generally, during the interview and assessment they begin to face the reality of their assignment and its commitment. At this point, on occasion, the employee and their family change their mind about the assignment and decline the offer. Families, generally, go through cross cultural training for almost a week in order to get ready for departure.

Once they arrive at the host country, the stages of culture shock begin. Most families go through the normal process of adjustment for a few months, and some families may return soon due to difficulty adjusting in the host country.

Ironically, for most families the real difficulties begin when, after a few years of assignment in a foreign country, they have to return home. Because of their enjoyment of their new lifestyle in the host country--which many times is more upscale than the one they left--and the social relationships developed in the host country, a majority of those on assignment express a desire to stay in the host country, but the fact is they have to return.

My observation has been that families have a tough time adjusting to the home country after returning. Many find themselves depressed and their children as well. Their short-term experience in another country with its different lifestyle has altered their values and beliefs. Upon return, they discover the home country is not the same as the one they lived in before, and they feel alienated from their extended families, friends and culture.

Culture Shock

Periodically, ever since Afghans began coming to the U.S., in various circles one may hear of their desire to return to their beloved homeland once the political upheaval comes to an end. Some of these individuals have been waiting many years for such a glorious day to leave this country. Emotionally and intellectually, they have not made the compromise needed with their new country in order to adjust to the new environment. When the opportune moment arises, in order to justify their feelings, they will criticize the host country.

Naturally, it is understandable, that no matter how broadminded one is, living in a new culture creates feelings of frustration, anxiety, insecurity, and uncertainty. Living in a new culture requires new skills, new ways of thinking, and new ways of problem solving. When an individual experiences frustration and has no skills to be flexible in thinking, this causes profound distress and feelings of helplessness; consequently, there is hostility toward the new environment and rejection of the values and culture of the new home.

When Afghans in the U.S. get together to complain or express their frustrations about this country and its people, one can be sure they are suffering from culture shock. Culture shock describes the more pronounced reactions to the psychological disorientation people experience when they move into another culture markedly different from their own. Action sequences that are routine in one's own culture become obsolete. Culture shock can cause intense discomfort, irritability, bitterness, resentment, homesickness and depression, and greatly affect the day-to- day ability of the individual to function. A more advanced phase of culture shock is regression. The home country suddenly assumes a tremendous importance above all else.

To an Afghan everything in their homeland becomes glorified. All the difficulties and problems are forgotten and only the good things back home are remembered. It usually takes a trip home to bring one back to reality.

Cultural shock and the corresponding physical and psychological symptoms may be so severe that an individual becomes nonfunctional. Among refugees and immigrants there is a percentage that fall seriously physically or mentally ill, commit suicide, or remain so homesick that they must return home, especially within the first year.

Reverse Culture Shock

Reverse culture shock on the other hand is not so well known and is rarely anticipated. After all the individual or family is going home. However, its effects are likely to be even more disruptive than those of culture shock. Refugees and immigrants who successfully completed their acculturation process into the host country and then return home will experience a reverse culture shock in readjusting to their old cultural environment.

The transitions that are part of living for a significant period of time in another country do not end with adaptation to the host culture but continue through the return home. Often those who have adjusted most successfully have the most difficulty returning. The new experience and perspectives refugees and immigrants gain in the host country mean that home will never seem quite the same again. Every member of the family has been changed by the experience. The result is a new family of changed individuals. Adaptation to the homeland is most crucial for family members who were born while the family was in the host country.

Those coming home have seen and experienced things that friends and family have never known. The returning individuals have to find a new way to relate to those at home. Consequently, they may experience feelings of loss, alienation, a sense of difference and distance.

Furthermore, they may experience feelings of being neglected, confused, unimportant, uneasy, dissatisfied, and discouraged, with a degree of social disappointment. As with the initial cultural adjustment in the host country, reintegration into the country of origin may create problems at school, work, and at home. These problems can spillover and exacerbate the entire re-entry process.

Children, too, suffer from Reverse Culture Shock. Children arrive home with a much broader perspective on life and the world, and may find they no longer relate on the same level. While living in the host country they become accustomed to an entirely new way of living. They may discover that they don't have much in common with their home culture. They may find that friends and family just don't understand their behavior, and they may experience some resentment or disinterest from those around them. The family may be grieving the loss of a meaningful life and relationships that were established in the host country that they might never see again. They may also be leaving a lifestyle that cannot be duplicated back home. These are all major life changes and need to be acknowledged in order to make their reentry easier. The reality is that returning home is returning to a world that is different from the one they left.

Additionally, the fact that the individuals themselves have changed is often overlooked. Some may experience more difficulty reintegrating to home than they did adapting to the host country. They have absorbed more from the country in which they spent part of their lives than they realized, and if they meet a citizen of that country they welcome him or her warmly as a compatriot.

Immigrants and refugees who have returned home sometimes find they don't fit in anymore and immigrate again, this time for good. Their children often do not fit into the country of origin, and not infrequently they return to the host country--with or without their parents' permission.

Families may anticipate that reintegration into the home country will be a little easier than the original move to the host country. However, previous friends may have relocated, the old neighborhood is not the same, and they may feel like an outsider. They may find the working environment more complex. Their ideas and work ethics may be challenged by others, and they may feel isolated and discouraged. For some, adjustment problems become intolerable, and they return to the host country, this time for good. The trouble with re-entry, however, is the tendency of the family to underestimate the amount of life change involved. They may expect that since they lived in the home country before and since it is home, there will be nothing new to get used to.

The fact is every member of the family has changed. They are not the same people they were when they left their home country. Children may miss their experience and exposure to media, television, radio, advertising, games and other activities they had in the host country and find the home country boring and unchallenging.

One way to speed up the process of re-entry is that families should be warned to expect at least some degree of reverse culture shock. Family members should talk about their plan several months in advance. They should remind each other that they should be patient and expect to re-learn, and adjust in order to deal with life in the home country.

Family members should be able to communicate their fears and concerns freely, and their issues should not be ignored. It is wise to keep in touch with the people they know in the home country. Letters and phone calls can do much to ease the feelings that often accompany this major life change. It is too easy to discount the re-entry process; understanding the issues and providing support is essential to successful re-entry for each member of the family. It may take from nine months to two years before everyone really feels settled in the home country. Even though the family transition to the home country may become completely successful, life will never be the same again. |